The increased popularity of premarital counseling is primarily due to fear of failure. Who wants to get involved in an unhappy or doomed-to-fail marriage?
First — People recognize the fighting, unhappiness, and divorce their predecessors lived through is preventable by learning about marriage.
Second — Because now that a lot of people have tried it, we all can see there are a lot of problems that come with single parenting and uncommitted families.
Third — People are beginning to realize “natural” marriage is not as simple as it looks.
The risk of divorce based on statistics govern strong warnings. And it isn’t the smartest among us who ignore those warnings with the “it won’t happen to us” attitudes, which a lot of couples used to justify their laziness or know-it-all-ness. Maybe not getting premarital education seemed to make sense when the divorce rate had just started creeping up, but not anymore.
Premarital counseling and premarital education are the same thing.
Some people call it premarital counseling, but I prefer the term “education,” because you are not just looking for wise words to help get you through a temporary situation. Marriage is a lifetime endeavor. Getting a few tips or sage advice is like heading off to climb a mountain after reading a few magazine articles. If you tried climbing a mountain with such little educational preparation, you can pretty much count on not surviving.
Vague, lofty advice is useless unless it is accompanied by practical steps one can actually take. What you, and every couple needs, is quality, science-based marriage education. You should know the following:
- Are we mature enough to be successfully married?
- Did we choose each other based on certain principles?
Then, once you are clear about those, you need to learn:
- How to achieve peace, harmony, and a connection.
- How to spot warning signs of trouble ahead.
- Which expectations are dangerous and which are fine.
- How to create happiness.
Adjusting to new marriage takes a bit of time, so you should have all the tools and knowledge available. Marriage is only mysterious to the uneducated.
A happy marriage depends on you and your skills. Seeking premarital counseling will strengthen your marriage. It is not about compatibility or dumb luck. You chose your soulmate, you chose to get married, and you are responsible for how great your marriage will be.
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